The first rule of dieting is: you ALWAYS talk about dieting.

It’s finally 2017. Wowie kazowie, 2016 was a hell of a year. I made ONE single post in this old thang, which is pretty disappointing, but so was a lot of this year. World events, politics, and the soap box that is social media continue to be real downers. Boy, am I grateful for the “Unfollow” button… Continue reading The first rule of dieting is: you ALWAYS talk about dieting.

Buffin Cakes, yeah, you heard that right.

8 days ago, I was confident that I’d come to this blog with a new found life skill and infinite wisdom to share with anyone I either forced to read this, or who was bored enough to open this link and read it (sucker). I accrued this new level of confidence when I walked into a… Continue reading Buffin Cakes, yeah, you heard that right.

Disclaimer: I did not trademark the Salandwichrito™. I’m just the dummy who found the special characters box in the WordPress toolbar.

A wise person once told me that the more colorful the food is that fills your plate and your mouth, the more likely it is that you’re making healthy food choices. That’s why I always eat my ice cream sundaes with sprinkles and my cake with funfetti frosting. There is actually a diet called, “The Color Diet,”… Continue reading Disclaimer: I did not trademark the Salandwichrito™. I’m just the dummy who found the special characters box in the WordPress toolbar.

I’m baaaaaaaaaaaack. (Well, for now.)

I sat across the table from my best friend, about to devour inarguably the best deep dish pizza in Chicago (Pequods, FIGHT ME IF YOU DISAGREE) when she looked up at me and asked me if my food blog was dead. I winced a little, thinking back to the glory days, when I cooked then publicly documented my… Continue reading I’m baaaaaaaaaaaack. (Well, for now.)

self proclaimed sauce boss.

As a douchey manager of mine once said [at a work meeting that included scenes from Braveheart and pizza], “You’re either on the bus, or you’re off the bus.” such deep. much philosophical. My point? ‘Tis finally time to hop back on the hypothetical blogging bus. It’s BBQ season. The most patriotic time of the year. Filled… Continue reading self proclaimed sauce boss.

Warning: this post contains nuts.

I’ve got balls on the brain. Yes, you read that correctly. Balls. I feel like there’s a stigma around edible ball-shaped objects. For obvious reasons, yes. So as a preemptive precaution, please watch this tasteful SNL skit to get the obvious ball jokes out of the way. I absolutely suck at waking up to an… Continue reading Warning: this post contains nuts.

I falafel about not doing this earlier.

Well I already failed the New Years resolution that was updating this beast twice a month. My excuses this month include: February is short, February sucks, I went on vacation, I was busy as fudge, and February sucks. Meh, I deem those ‘explanations’ all valid and forgivable. When I moved to Chicago a year ago,… Continue reading I falafel about not doing this earlier.